The Top 4 Ways I Would Try to Stop A Serial Killer

I shall try to do a Nuffnang contest-turned-post today.

(pictures around here are courtesy of (yet again) Natalie Dee. I realize that I've been "using" their cartoon pictures quite frequently these days. Must be because I love the concept too much...)

~The Top 4 Ways...To Stop A Serial Killer

1. Bring in the "Cool-as-hell-policewoman-with-sunglasses".

 

  Every place (which worth something valuable) must have, at least, ONE policewoman. Now, I am NOT being sexist. There's a reason for this; a serial killer may be a guy, a lady or even...

...a toddler.

  So, who else is more suitable than a policewoman? Read between the lines: A face that launches a thousand ships, 倾国倾城 etc etc.

2. Must Have Killer Weapons/Machines/Pets.

  Every person in the world (even serial killers) has their own childhood memories. A cotton candy to bribe, kill or even insult a serial killer would be an efficient way to stop him/her.

  Something deadlier than a cotton candy machine would be...

...a killer pet dinosaur.

  It is better than a pet dog or a pet cat, as it bites worse than the two former animals. But hey, when you simply cannot get some dinosaurs into your hands, you would just have to resort to...

3. Force The Serial Killer to Swallow Poisonous Pills.

  In fact, you don't have to be so particular about which pills to use. Any pills would be sufficient, at least when taken in an overdose quantity.

When all fails, fret not. At the very least...

4. Let Him or Her Go/Be Alone.

  Wait... What???!!! After all these while, you seriously thought I will ask you to be patient and let nature takes its own course? Of course not. What I meant was this:

  Every thing in the world has its own fate/destiny. So, if your serial killer is such a bad-ass, rest assured that 冥冥之中(or fate, as we called it), the serial killer will be brought to justice in its own unique way. Even if it is an ordinary way to die, it sure is deadly. 

As I have said before, it is a Nuffnang contest. 

Details are all here.

[Update]: I've tried commenting on the Nuffnang page, but it did not work. Must be because they use "FB plugin" now, too bad then. Sigh~~~

A Magnolia Sherbet a Day Keeps My Fears Away

Fear Day.

  Everyone has a fear. Multiple fears are possible, too. Do not believe those who say "I-don't-have-any-fear-at-all...", not even this guy:

See? He fears he might just forget the names of his girlfriends partners "favourite friends".

  The general fears of all time would certainly look like this:

You are perfectly normal if you have fears like these. I won't call you a chicken, promise.

  Meanwhile, there are others who have the most ridiculous strange interesting fears around us:

1. Those who fear animals

...common enough.

You may not believe that turtles are feared by many...

...but when they hold knives/sword/BIG woodstick/Jay Chou's 双截棍, I am sure we will all be the firsts to run away.

2. Those who fear ghosts

...are perfectly acceptable in the society.

...but to fear Casper is a BIT too far.

3. Those who fear nightmares

...which is frequent in a student's life. Like me.

...totally irrational, especially EXACTLY before Christmas.

  Done with the types of other people's fears. It might not come as a surprise; I myself have fears of my own and here is my Top FIVE (!!!) purrrrr-fect solutions to these fears. 

1. Fear of cholesterol?

...like this.

...find this as a solution.

  I am here to answer all your fears. They claimed that the F&N Magnolia Sherbet is nothing like an ice-cream. It is true.  

I searched, I bought, I ate... them.

  And it tasted NOTHING like ice-cream. The Magnolia Sherbet (Melon) reminded me so much of the milk cartons I often get when I was in primary school, which in my opinion, is a good thing. Really.

2. Fear of Veggies + Fruits?

  The fear of veggies OR fruits is common enough. Very likely to be found in, let's say, people around the age of 5 to 50. But the combination of the two elements?

...is deadly.

...and once again, I found my refuge in this.

  Melon. Yes, it is melon. Not mangosteen, not orange. I prefer Magnolia Sherbet (Melon) which has its own unique chunky melons inside. Small ones, mind you. 

  I couldn't find any lychees-flavoured ones, but after tasting them all, I can only say this: Mangosteen and orange in the form of puree is a BIG NO-NO. 

  Sorry, but they two reminded me of veggies+fruits (see above) and chinese medicine respectively. Not that I ever eat/drink any chinese medicinal herbs lately. Now that I think about it, I've never eat/drink any herbs EVER.

So far so good...

3. Fear of grammar mistakes and word punctuations?

...err.

  It is unlikely that any F&N Magnolia Sherbet will cure this fear of mine. But I shall try...

Gwarrraragawarawrahwarwawa...

Nomnomnomonoomonommomnomomo... @#$%!!!

  Nope. Sorry. It cannot cure this fear.

But there is more...

4. Fear of not finding any F&N Magnolia Sherbet around?

...like this.

...or even like this.

  The only solution:

^_______________^

And last, but not least...

5. Fear of not getting angpows during Chinese New Year?

...looks familiar?

Fear no more.

  Nuffnang is giving... not one, not two... but FIVE lucky Nuffnangers RM1500 each for the most creatively written blog posts about F&N Magnolia Sherbet. Here is the details. Be quick! Be fast! You might be the ONES to win it!!!

P.S.: Before I forget, there is one more requirement for this contest...

...Precious Mine!!!

P.P.S.: Happy Chinese New Year, everyone!!! Gong Xi Fa Cai, 新年快乐!!!

A Magnolia Sherbet A Day For The Best and The Rest

  Apocalypse.

I assure you, this is still a sherbet post.

You may ask, how is a post about sherbets apocalyptic in nature?

  Maybe I am being too dramatic here. But one cannot deprive me the rights to show you the connection between an apocalypse and a Magnolia Sherbet. As the saying goes, if you cannot convince them, confuse them.

  Err. Ahem.

  According to Wikipedia (what else?), "apocalypse" is derived from the Greek word "apokálypsis" which carries the meaning of "lifting of the veil" or "revelation". Of course, it has a far-fetched and doomed-feel-like that people (normal ones, like you and me) tend to steer clear from.

  So, how about this?

Teenage zombies.

 

Cute aliens.

Back to the point. 

  I can see that you still cannot see the connection between an apocalypse and a Magnolia Sherbet (in this case, my favourite Melon-flavoured ones). Let's view it in a different angle:

Ahhh... Now we are on the same plane.

  Yes, people. I believe that the advertisement slogans around the world in the past few decades have, somehow rather inexplicably, show us the signs or reveal to us the coming of a new sherbet (in this situation, the F&N Magnolia Sherbet - my favourite is Melon-flavoured) that can (literally) blow your socks off. 

  You sound very dubious about it, I know. You might even think that I am pulling your leg. But allow me to further present some very concrete arguments to this.

1. Reebok says, "I am what I am"

  

  Who would have thought Reebok would helped Magnolia Sherbet to gain its reputation before the launch? Without giving much thought to its other competitors such as Haagen Dazs or Gelato, F&N Magnolia presented a one-of-a-kind sherbet which is economical in nature. If you think RM 2.80 is not cheap, then I don't know what is.

2. Calvin Klein says, "Between love and madness lies obsession"

  Obsession, yet another scary word. But that is very much true. How obsessive can you NOT be if you dare to push your way through the throng of hundreds over people in Sungei Wang+Bukit Bintang+Lot 10+Fahrenheit 88+Pavilion KL just to get your hands on a cup of F&N Magnolia Sherbet (Melon-flavoured) on a Saturday night?

  

  There lies the love, the madness and the mother of all feelings - obsession.

3. Pepsi says, "The choice of a new generation"

  The new generation these days would realize how important health-care is. We all swear to eat healthy food; on the other hand, we still writhes in agony if no dessert is included. Guilt-ridden, we dare not to eat one. 

  Fear not. F&N Magnolia Sherbet is an alternative which is just as yummy as ice cream, but without the richness of regular ice cream. And that, to me, is as good as any.

4. Sony says, "Like no other"

  

  F&N Magnolia Sherbet, a texture lighter and smoother than regular ice cream, and contains real fruit pieces/puree. It’s a refreshing pick-me-up like no other!

and last but not least...

5. McDonald's says, "I'm loving it!"

  

  I believe the slogan speaks for itself. F&N Magnolia Sherbet (Melon-flavoured), I'm loving it!

  There you have it, people! I know that there will be some people who refuse to believe it, but that is fine with me. Because at the end of the day...

...I'm the one who gets to eat the whole sherbet!!!

-"I chose the road less traveled, now where the heck am I?"-

  The details of the Nuffnang contest is here. My other entry about this contest is here (it is a parody, guys. Be nice to it.)

Thank you all.

The End.

A Magnolia Sherbet a Day Gives-Me-Chance-To-Win-Nuffnang-Contest-But-Only-If-I-Can-Find-It-Today

  Another Nuffnang contest. About the new F&N Magnolia Sherbet which came out recently a few days a few weeks ago. And I want to enter. Oh! You wouldn't want to know how much I wish to enter. But this happens:

My best GH pose.

  Yes, I took the above picture using my  Green Hornet picture. But can you blame me if I cannot even find a tab pint quartz "bowl" of Magnolia Sherbet even though the Jusco One Utama is the first in its "Selected Outlets" list?

  Fear not, people! I shall write this entry to the end (I'm sure this will annoy the Nuffnang staffs, I am sorry) as though I have the sherbet with me all this while. 

_on How to Win $$$ in this Nuffnang contest:

1. A Blog Post/Title

-> "A Magnolia Sherbet a Day gives-me-chance-to-win-Nuffnang-contest-but-only-if-I-can-find-it-today".

Catchy? Check.

Unusual? Check.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? 

You bet!

2. Favourite Magnolia Sherbet flavour

  The sherbet is available in 4 (!!!) flavours; Lychee, Mangosteen, Melon and Orange. And due to the reason mentioned above, I shall use the power of deduction bestowed to me (Miss Sherlockiah Holmesah) to pin-point rather vaguely which is my Favourite Flavour.

No. Not the Ouija Board. Can't you see that it said "No"?

Sherbet = 4 flavours. Coin = 2 sides. THAT bad in Maths?

Sherbets don't have legs to climb up the trees.

..

...nor are they fishes.

Sigh.

  I refuse to give up. Let's see what we have in here. Lychee, mangosteeen, melon, orange... Lychee, mangosteen, melon, orange... Lychee, mangos---

Sigh. Can't I like ALL already?

  Well, no one told me that I HAVE to choose one, have they? So, Miss Sherlockiah Holmesah shall like them all.

You cannot press this button. This is NOT facebook.

Last but not least...

3. Include pics with favourite flavour

Miss Sherlockiah Holmesah cannot find her Magnolia Sherbet.

Neither do the two poor little pets above.

And now I blow my chances to enter a contest.

WAAAAWAAAAAAWAAAAAAWAAAAAAAA...

-The End-