_of Summer Job (Kitchen Helper Version)

  I need a summer job.

There, I've said it.

  This summer vacation leaves me with nothing to do in so much time. Therefore, I have devised a way to advertise my own skills in my own original way. Behold...

Kitchen Helper version

  For those out there who actually own/manage/supervise a cafe/restaurant, please find enclosed the "Top FIVE Reasons of Why You Should Hire Me Indefinitely":

1. I know when a Lobster needs its Butter Bath.

  Obviously, you people know what is a lobster and what is a butter. For those of you who don't know (let's say, having reasons equivalent to being under a Rock for years or staying in a Stone Age), lemmejustputsomepicsupforyou...

...this is a lobster.

...and that is butter.

   So, it is (to me) a very exceptional skill to drown cook a lobster in a butter bath. And I am proud to say that I  knew how to do that from scratch.

After this, you just don't wanna mess around with me.

2. I know for a fact that salt is vegetarian in nature.

  Many people think that salt is derived from animal and stuff. Think again. What I will tell you might just blow your head away, and it won't return back to your neck. Just trust me when I say...

3. When Nature gives you Carrot, you have to stop Carrot Violence.

  Some of you might not know it, but Q.L. is equivalent to a carrot. 

That is Q.L.'s caricature.

  So, imagine her surprise when I say, an owner/manager/supervisor of a cafe/restaurant should hire me because I pledge to...

4. Something about Cheese.

  Ahh. Cheese. We are so on a right track here with cheese. 

There is runny cheese.

There is hidden cheese.

...and that is SO NOT a cheese.

  But you know what can I do to impress you? I know (with my eyes closed) that...

^_______________^

5. Two different things put together would mean ONE single thing.

  Well, you recognize corn...

...and you sometimes seen hair around...

(or was that two sentences the other way around? Never mind.)

  I will bet $3.85 that the current owner/manager/supervisor of my dream job in his/her cafe/restaurant does NOT know that...

...we never do that. Not professionally, I mean.

So, FIVE (!!!) reasons are not enough for you? *encore encore* More, you meant?

Last but not least...

Extra: Unlike some people (like Q.L. apparently), I know what is a tomato and a mango.

*sneer*

  And before you throw it on my face, I know the image above is a red capsicum. *smug-looking smile*

Now, 

who wanna hire me?